Friday, April 18, 2014

# 42: The Church Reinforces Proper Gender Roles

You should stay LDS because the Church reinforces proper gender roles.  We live in a society that is increasingly breaking down the barriers of male and female.  On Facebook, you can choose from over 50 different genders.  That's messed up!  There's only two genders, folks.  If you have a penis, you're male.  If you have a vagina, you're female.  It's pretty simple, really.

In Los Angeles, there's a boy playing with the girl's softball team.  That's messed up!

At college, there are people trying to popularize the use of gender neutral pronouns!  That's messed up!

What is the end result of the belief that gender has no correlation to body parts?  The end result is that  the words "mother" and "father" become dirty words.  "Parent" is preferable.  "Husband" and "wife" become politically incorrect.  "Spouse" or "Partner" are preferred.

If we keep trying to accommodate women who think their men and men who think they're women, we'll eventually have to make gender-neutral restrooms.  They're already doing this in some places.  Basically, anybody can go into a restroom, but everyone has their own private stall.  I think that's the way it works, though I've never been in one myself, and I hope I never go in one.

Maybe you don't believe me.  Maybe you're thinking, "A gender neutral restroom?  That's absurd!"  Well, they're doing it at Portland Community College.

And over at the Atheist National Convention, in Salt Lake City of all places, gender neutral restrooms are being advertised.

I have an idea.  How about we keep public restrooms the way they already are, separate but equal?

How does the Church reinforce proper gender roles?  They put boys in boy clothes and have them do boy stuff, and they put girls in girl clothes and have them do girl stuff.  Men get the priesthood, but women don't.  Boys work on getting their Eagle Scout.  Girls work on getting their Young Women Medallions.  Men are expected to get jobs and make money.  Women are expected to have babies and bake whole wheat bread.  And these are good things!  I testify to you, brothers and sisters, that conforming to proper gender roles brings joy, and it's part of God's plan!

I love the Family: A Proclamation to the World.  And there's an important part in there.  After outlining the various roles and responsibilities of men and women, the Proclamation states, "In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.  Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation."

In other words, sometimes Moms need to work outside the home.  And that's okay.  And sometimes men really like ballet and show-tunes.  And that's okay too.

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  1. So my calling is Stake Executive Sec and so I'm constantly surrounded by TBM and they often say things that bug me SOO bad!! So, since you're kind of a non-believing-yet-still-active member i'm going to rant on here. In Stake Council meeting (includes men and women in stake leadership), each High Councilor was reporting on some individuals in their ward. One brought up a guy, BY NAME, who was struggling to gain a temple recommend. The Stake President, asked for specifics as to his obstacles. The HC responded sheepishly, "Masturbation. He goes for about a month or two and then messes up again. The bishop told him he needs to go three months and then he can get one." I was sitting there in shock. First, why are they talking about this poor kid's personal struggles, which he confessed in confidence? Secondly, the kid probably is way worthier than thousands of people who go to the temple regularly. And last the temple's purpose, although I don't believe in it anymore, should be to strengthen people just like this kid. Another reason I think so many people are falling away.

    1. Thanks for the rant. I sympathize with you. That seems like a frustrating situation, and it does seem inappropriate that they're discussing a kid's masturbation habits in a big group setting like that. Is there something in the Church Handbook of Instructions about keeping private stuff private? If so, maybe you could bring that up to somebody. I guess we need to keep saying to ourselves, "The stake high council is just trying to help."

  2. I realize where you're coming from. I really do. But some of us are just really confused. I am a person who is genuinely confused. I cannot get a temple recommend even though I am a good person and I am a strong member of the church. Because I don't adhere to the appropriate gender role. I am a female. I was born in a female's body and I understand that I have eternally been a female since before I was born. But I am not an 'appropriate' female. I like men. But I am not an 'appropriate' female. I do not get dates, and I will most likely not be married. Because I look like a male, and I feel comfortable in men's attire. But I am a female. When I pretend to be an 'appropriate' female, I hate myself. I become depressed. I have tried in the past to commit suicide because I hate myself so much. My bishop has no words for me because he doesn't know what to do except deny me temple blessings because what I am is not sanctioned by the church. The boys in my singles ward ignore me, and the girls try to force me into 'makeovers', which end up making me feel fake and tired and even more depressed. What about those of us like me? Does Heavenly Father hate me so much that he wants me to be miserable just so I can adhere to the qualifications? I've been told that he loves me...just not for the way I am. I must be a certain way to get into the Celestial kingdom. And no matter what I do, that will be the catalyst that keeps me from exaltation. I love this church and it's teachings so much. And the sad part is that we have no help. All we have is people telling us to be this way, or get out. But they'll still love us on our way to utter damnation in the lower kingdoms.
    Why not post something about that?

  3. Hey anonymous, I actually read your comment a long time ago, but I didn't respond, because I didn't know what to say. I still don't know what to say. I just wanted to let you know, if you're even reading this, that I read and thought about your comment.

    I'm not an ecclesiastical leader or a counselor or anything like that. I have a blue collar job in the manufacturing industry. So, I don't know how to help you, except to say that God loves you, and I hope that you continue to believe in God. I find so much truth and beauty and goodness in the LDS Church, so that's why I stick with it. Heavenly Father does not hate you. He loves you.

    Maybe you can try to stop thinking so much about what others think about you. Maybe you can spend some quality time alone, in prayer, or not even in prayer. Just remember that God is your only judge. Your ward members and your church leaders are not your judges. God cares more about the goodness of your heart than the clothes you wear.

    Also, try to lose yourself in the service of others. I love the scripture, "he that findeth his life shall lose it, and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." Sometimes it's helpful to think less about yourself and your own particular sexual orientation or identity and to think of others and their needs.

    I'm not sure you were asking for advice, but, what the heck, I gave it to you anyway. I know you posted your comment in September, and now it's November, but it's better late than never.

    See you later.