Friday, February 23, 2018

# 69: The Church Gave Me My Family

I love my family so much.  I love them soooooo soooooo much.  I can’t explain to you how much I love my wife and four kids.  They really are the joy of my life. 

I often wish I had more close friends, but close friendships are hard for me to maintain.  But despite my lack of friends, I live a happy life, because my wife is my best friend, and my kids are my friends, too.  We talk together and we play together and we spend time together.  My family keeps me from being lonely. 

I love coming home from work and seeing my young daughters run up to me.  They’re so happy to see me!  On numerous occasions, I’ve gotten home from work and my daughters have literally sang this song to me: 

“I’m so glad when Daddy comes home, 
Glad as I can be.  
Clap my hands and shout for joy, 
Then climb upon his knee, 
Put my arms around his neck, 
Hug him tight like this,
Pat his cheeks, then give him what?  
A great big kiss.”

And they hug me and kiss me!  It’s the sweetest thing in the world.  If I’ve had a stressful day at work, or if I’m feeling like a loser because I don’t make enough money or I haven’t achieved enough in my life, and then my daughters sing me that song, well, it makes me feel swell.  

And I love my wife!  She’s hardworking, beautiful, friendly, self-sacrificial, and Christlike! I’m so blessed to have her in my life.  I don’t deserve her.  I’m not entitled to her.  I realize that our marriage takes effort.  I’m going to do what I can to make sure that our marriage lasts for the rest of our lives.  My wife and I got sealed in the temple, so maybe that means our marriage is eternal.  I don’t know.  (What happens in the afterlife is so out of my range of thinking.  I believe that the next world will be better than this world… but maybe it won’t be.  I guess the next world will be much worse for really really bad sinners, but… really have no idea… and I’m okay with that.)

So I often think to myself: where did my family come from?  How did I get my family? 

And the answer is: I got my family from religion.  

I don’t think I’m naturally the type of guy to settle down.  I’m not naturally inclined to be faithful to one woman.  Pornography tempts me.  

Men, and maybe women, are not naturally monogamous.  There’s a book called Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What it Means for Modern Relationships.  Have you heard of it?  I haven’t read it, but my agnostic sister read it and she recommended it to me.  Basically the thesis of the book is that we evolved as a human species to have lots of sex with lots of different people.  The book argues that monogamy is a relatively recent phenomenon, and that it usually doesn’t work out very well.

I don’t need a book to tell me that I want to have lots of sex with lots of different people.  That’s something I’ve known since I was a sexually-frustrated teenager.

I wrote a poem about what happens sometimes when I see a pretty lady:

Confession

Don’t get me wrong, babe.
I don’t go looking for beautiful women
to look at.  It’s not like 
I bring binoculars to the beach.

But if I happen to see
a foxy woman, and she’s 
weighing mushrooms or feeling cucumbers
when I’m shopping at the store,
well then, yes, I confess,
I want to look some more.

I’m not a sexual deviant.  I’m normal.  I’m natural.  I’m acknowledging the truth that men have natural desires to spread their seed all over the planet.  

But what does the Book of Mormon teach about being “natural”?  Mosiah 3:19.  “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putters off the natural man, and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord…”

Sexual desires need to be curtailed, or civilization would collapse.  Can you imagine what the world would be like if all the adults were having orgies all the time?  

Close your eyes and imagine orgies.  (OK, now stop imagining orgies!  Now you’re sinning in your mind!)

But really, what would happen if everyone acted on their extra-marital lustful desires? First of all, we’d all have sexually transmitted diseases.  Second of all, most traditional families wouldn’t survive.  Kids would cry.  Third of all, it would be hard to tell what kid belonged to who.

So, we need religion to discipline ourselves.  Our sexual desires need to be conquered.  It’s a tough fight, but it’s a fight that needs to be waged.

The Church taught me that I shouldn’t have sex until I was married.  I really really wanted to have sex, so… I got married.  After I got married, I had sex, which produced children.  I’ve been married for 11 years now, and I have four kids, and let me tell you: it’s awesome.  Families are awesome.  Families are what life is all about.

So, even though Joseph Smith exaggerated a lot, I’m staying LDS for the sixty-ninth reason:  The Church Gave Me My Family.

If what I've written on this blog has helped you, or entertained you, or if you're just feeling generous, please consider making a donation through the PayPal link below.  Any amount is greatly appreciated.  Thank you.



Tuesday, February 20, 2018

You Should Give Me Money



Here it is folks!  The long-awaited PayPal button!

This is the way you can donate to my blog to help keep it alive!  Click on the donate button above and give me money through PayPal or through credit or debit cards.  Thank you so much folks.

You might be wondering if this link still works.  YES IT STILL WORKS!  I'm going to keep this blog going for the rest of my life, so, even if it's the year 2020 or 2030 or 2040, that link will still work!

I'm currently trying to figure out how to attach this PayPal button permanently to the sidebar on my blog.  But for now I'll make this call for donations an individual post.

Again, I hope it doesn't bother you that I'm asking for donations.  I could just use some more money in my life right now.  I'm a very frugal person, and I work at a blue-collar job in the manufacturing industry, and I have a wife and four kids and ... well... I really feel like what I've written is valuable.  I feel like it's worth something, like at least five bucks.  I feel like my blog has helped some of you explore your options when it comes to staying LDS.  Many of my posts have received a thousand views, and I've gotten a lot of comments.

By the way, guess which post on this blog has received the most views.  Drumroll please... it's "Hot Chicks at Church"  LOL.  You guys are a bunch of perverts!!!

Oh, I'm sure it wasn't my regular readers who clicked on the "Hot Chicks at Church" post.  I'm sure it was horny people surfing the Internet.  I don't mean to be too judgmental, though.  I've clicked on some pretty awful stuff in my life.  It's been a long time since I've looked at porn and specifically searched out porn online... but... I've done it.  I regret it, but I've done it a lot.

It's funny, you know.  The law of chastity is my favorite commandment, except for when I feel like breaking it.

Anyway thanks for reading this blog and thanks for considering throwing a few dollars my way.   I promise I'll do responsible things with the money you donate to me.  I'll use it for groceries and dental appointments and electric bills and so on.

See you later!

Monday, February 19, 2018

# 68: I'm STILL Still Around






I just realized it's been a year since I've written on this blog.  My my, time flies, doesn't it?  So hello again!

When I first had my faith crisis in 2012, I spent hours and hours and hours every week online, researching forbidden church topics and chatting with people on the disaffected Mormon underground.  But now I don't.  These days, I spend basically no time at all online dealing with thorny church issues.

If we're serious about staying LDS (even though we don't believe in the Church anymore) then it's a good idea to just back away from the computer, back away from the phone, stop going to Mormon Stories, stop going to Mormon Think, stop going to Feminist Mormon Housewives, stop listening to podcasts, and etc.  Some of the those websites just radicalize you and infuriate you.  They have their time and their place, but maybe that time is not now, and maybe that place is not here.

So, some of you may be wondering what I've been up to for the past year.  Well... I'm still active.  I still live in the same house, work at the same job, and have the same wife and kids.  Except now I have a new son, which is great.  He was born last September.  That brings my kid total up to four.

I still attend church every Sunday.  I sit in the pew and sing the songs.  I home teach.  I pay tithing.  I teach a Primary class.  I don't attend the temple much, even though there's one close by, but I have a temple recommend.  I baptized my daughter last September and I blessed my newborn son in January.

Do you want to know anything else about my life?  I'd like to know about your life!  Tell me about your life in the comments below!

Oh yeah, there's another big update in my life.  I want more money.  I'm not poor... but... well... I'm kinda poor, honestly.  Multiplying and replenishing the earth isn't free, you know.

I know there's some of you out there with a lot of money.  Maybe you have even more money now because you don't have that expensive tithing bill to pay.  LOL.  No, but seriously, if what I've written on this blog has helped you, or if you're just feeling generous, then consider making a donation.  Any amount, however small, helps.  And if you donate, that will encourage me to write on this blog more regularly.

So, I set up a PayPal thing... (or I will in the next few days, when I figure out how to do it) so you can give me money.  Just click on it and send me any amount of money you're comfortable with.  I promise I'll be just as transparent about what I do with the money as the Church is.

Seriously, your donation will help me pay my bills, feed and house my kids, etc.  Again, I don't want to sound desperate.  I'm not desperate.  Just recently I've been thinking though that's there's nothing wrong with asking for a few dollars in exchange for all the work I've put into this blog.

Also, I put up ads.  I hope you don't mind.  Just ignore them.

Thank you so much.

Also, one commenter asked if I have an email address, and... yes I do!  It's misterfake371-at-gmail.com.  So if you want to discuss things privately, email me and I'll email you back.  It might take me a long time to reply, though.

OK I think that's everything.  See you later!


If what I've written on this blog has helped you, or entertained you, or if you're just feeling generous, please consider making a donation through the PayPal link below.  Any amount is greatly appreciated.  Thank you.



 

Thursday, February 16, 2017

# 67: I'm Still Around



Hello, I haven't written on this blog for a long time, so I thought I would... uh... write on it again.

I've been staying LDS for five years now.  Every year that goes by I think, "wow, I can't believe it's been another year since I lost my testimony."  It feels kind of like a wedding anniversary.

Maybe this blog is getting repetitive.  Maybe this blog is getting repetitive, but I just wanna say generally that the Church is mostly good and it does a lot of good things and I like the Church and etc.

And I love Jesus Christ!  And I love a lot of the people at church!  And I've learned how to keep my mouth shut!

And sometimes keeping your mouth shut is the right thing to do!  There are secrets that ought to be kept and truths that ought not to be told, for wise reasons.  The CIA, for example, needs to keep confidential information confidential.  It's a national security issue.

Anyway... I've thought a lot about staying LDS, and I've prayed about it, and I've remained active for five years now and... I'm here to tell you about it!

Oh yeah, you wanna hear some other good news?  My wife is pregnant!  She's due in September 2017.  We have three daughters right now, ages 7, 4 and 1.

So... this post is short... but... uh... I just wanted to stop in and say hi.


If what I've written on this blog has helped you, or entertained you, or if you're just feeling generous, please consider making a donation through the PayPal link below.  Any amount is greatly appreciated.  Thank you.



 

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

# 66: HEFY


Sorry my picture today is sloppy.  It's supposed to be two LDS teenagers on a humanitarian mission, building a school.  They're wearing hardhats.  One teenage girl is using a shovel.  The hearts on their shirts represent the Christ-like love they feel toward the people they serve.  The brick wall in the far left of the picture represents the secure environment in which the faithful teens labor.

There are many other symbols in this picture, the meanings of which ought not to be revealed at this time, but if the Gentiles can discover their meanings through study, then so be it.  Just kidding.  Ha ha ha.

And sorry I'm starting my post with an apology.  LOL.  I'd love to write on this blog more.  I have lots of ideas for more reasons to stay LDS, and I'll write them down whenever I get around to it.  So stay tuned!

Did I mention I'm doing this blog for free, in my free time, which I have very little of, and I'm offering it to you for free?  I hope you appreciate what I do for you.  I could be sleeping, you know.  Or I could be watching Master Chef.  I've missed a lot of episodes lately, and I really like Master Chef.

Or I could be making myself a burrito with some of those yummy food storage beans.

Instead I'm sitting at my computer, slaving away at the keyboard, ALL FOR YOU!!!

OK, OK, less about me, more about HEFY...

A few months ago I went to a family reunion and one of my cousins talked about how she went to EFY during the summer, but it wasn't exactly EFY... it had and "H" in front of it, so it was HEFY, which stands for Humanitarian Experience for Youth.  Well, my cousin went to some third world country and built a school or an orphanage or something like that.  She's a really nice girl and it sounded really nice.  I think she got teary-eyed when she described how her love of the Savior and her love of humanity grew during her HEFY experience.

I had never heard of HEFY before, but it sounded a heck of a lot more productive than listening to John Bytheway make corny jokes and suffering through awkward church dances, which is what they do at EFY.

And then tonight I googled stuff and found the HEFY website, and their website looks just great.

HEFY isn't the type of thing that gets a lot of press.  It's not controversial.  There's probably been a hundred articles in the media in the last few years about the Church possibly withdrawing from the Boy Scouts of America due to all the gay drama.  But how many articles have you come across about HEFY?

Oh, I should mention that HEFY is not an official Church thing, but it's done by all LDS people, so it's safe to say that HEFY is the child of the modern LDS culture.

HEFY is great for Mormons with non-traditional testimonies, because it's all about Christlike service.  It's not about indoctrination or proselyting or the trivial aspects of Mormonism or anything like that.

I think the mission and actions of the HEFY participants are very closely aligned with the mission and actions of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  In that regard, it's a lot like justserve.org, which is another great thing that the Church has done.

If you stay LDS, you'll continue to be a part of a loving community that acts on its altruistic instincts, as demonstrated by the existence of HEFY.  You'll continue to be around good people, and you'll continue to participate in blessing the Earth.


If what I've written on this blog has helped you, or entertained you, or if you're just feeling generous, please consider making a donation through the PayPal link below.  Any amount is greatly appreciated.  Thank you.



 

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

# 65: The Stone Has Been Shown!



Ladies and gentlemen, have you heard the news?  The stone has been shown!  What stone?  The seer stone!  The very same seer stone that Joseph Smith used to translate the Book of Mormon!

Maybe you've never heard of the seer stone before.  Let me enlighten you:  Joseph Smith didn't really use the golden plates in the translation process.  That's probably what you learned in Seminary or Sunday School when you were a kid.  That's how I learned it.  I learned that Joseph Smith looked at the golden plates for a long time and prayed a lot until he was miraculously fluent in Reformed Egyptian.  Then, Joseph Smith read out loud from the golden plates, line by line, to a scribe, who wrote it down.

Well... it turns out that that version of the story was pretty much bogus.  It turns out that there are several eyewitnesses who describe the real "translation" process, and I use the word "translation" loosely.  The real translation process went something like this: Joseph Smith put a stone into a hat and put his face in the hat, deep into the hat.  He looked into the darkness, and then spoke the words to a scribe, who then wrote the words down.

And what exactly was Joseph Smith seeing when he looked into his hat?  That's a question that no one can accurately answer.  In my opinion, he wasn't seeing anything but darkness, a rock, and a hat.

For more information on Joseph Smith's translation of the Book of Mormon, click here.

And, for a more faithful perspective, read the Church's essay about the Book of Mormon translation.

So, the big news is, the Church has had this seer stone locked away in a vault for probably about 180 years, but now it's finally been taken out, photographed and posted on the Internet, for all the world to see.  This is a step in the right direction.  This is a move towards transparency.  I applaud the Church for holding a press conference and showing a picture of the seer stone.

(Well, it's one of the seer stones.  I think Joseph Smith used a few of them, but this seems to be the most important one.  Let's not get bogged down in details.)

You should stay LDS because the Church is trying to be more open about its history.  If you feel lied to, take comfort in today's news.  Take comfort in the fact that the Church is taking steps to correct the mistakes they've made.


If what I've written on this blog has helped you, or entertained you, or if you're just feeling generous, please consider making a donation through the PayPal link below.  Any amount is greatly appreciated.  Thank you.



 

Thursday, July 16, 2015

# 64: Rosemary M. Wixom! Primary General President!




This morning I went to www.lds.org just to see what was on there, and wow!  Front and center, there was a link to the general conference talk, "Returning to Faith" by Rosemary M. Wixom, the Primary General President.  The link had a picture of a sad-looking middle-class white lady in her thirties, which is pretty much an accurate representative sample of Mormons who lose their faith these days, and the lady was sitting alone in her room, gazing towards a window.  And the picture has a caption that says, "Afraid You're Losing Your Faith?  Focus on What You Know."  I feel for this lady!  Ha!  I know she's just a model, but if she was a real person, I would probably say something like, "You don't need to sit alone in your house and look longingly through windows, agonizing about anachronisms in the Book of Mormon!  Just don your Pioneer Day garb and bake whole wheat bread!"

Anyway... you should go read this talk.  It's great.

Sister Wixom is the sixty-fourth reason to stay LDS!

Oh and by the way, I just had another baby.  Well, my wife had the baby.  LOL.  So now I've got three daughters, and my life is kind of busy and blah blah blah, so, I have not written as much on here as I'd like, but I want you to know that I'm still around.  I still have faith in Jesus Christ and I believe that the LDS Church is a good Christian Church.  As crazy as it sounds, I believe I have been divinely inspired to stay LDS.

I was a young men's secretary for about a year or two, but about two months ago I got released from that and now I teach a Primary class.  It's a great calling and I'm excited to show the love of God to the little ones in my class each and every Sunday.

Take care.


If what I've written on this blog has helped you, or entertained you, or if you're just feeling generous, please consider making a donation through the PayPal link below.  Any amount is greatly appreciated.  Thank you.